Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Mixed Feelings: Jaipur Blasts

I have seen an ocean.. i have felt those soothing waves where there is serenity and there is peace. I have seen fishes breathing and swaying in the deep blue waters – how delicately they used to swim and what vibrant colors their skin was made of – they were young and full of zeal. All the creatures in the deep waters got attracted towards them and loved to rejoice at their very sight. Fishes were free – free from all restrictions and in command of all their thoughts..they ate what they liked and they loved each other’s company when they playfully fiddled with the waves around. Now sweet times had left –may not be for very long but a suddenly the earth deep below the waters shudders..and there is a uproar – little fishes swirl around and exchange looks – their little mouths wide open in horror and full of questions – what had happened..the soothing waves turned harsh on their delicate bodies and they did not know where to hide..Waves crisscrossed each other and turned violent – so agitated..the waves seem to rise as high as sky as if a man had held both his arms high and then smashed his fists again below – the wild winds pressed him so hard. This hurricane was endless and none knew when it would end..sooner the better the fishes thought..oh such indecisiveness and such uncertainty – when would it end!

Some memories are tough to be placed under memorable moments..since they are so bitter to recollect in the current scenario. I had never thought Jaipur with such calmness and beauty would be blown up so badly..that the Pink City would actually turn RED. I know my family is fine..I know couple of my friends' families are fine..but I cannot just express the mixed feelings of fright, sudden tension, uncertainity,horror and guilt with which I started calling those whom I knew..coz at the bottom of my heart I knew many who had died were not known to me...but many a times they must have crossed my way in those walled city markets. I had been to LMB and to Badi Chaupal and Choti Chaupal - i must have at least spoken to a few shopkeepers..i may have gone to the market and brushed my shoulder with anyone of those nearby residents of the walled city of Jaipur - I had also touched those pink pillars and many a times stood by them waiting for Ma to complete what she was buying - those pillars are black - covered with ashes and those roads are spilled with blood - ohh after all it is my home town..and I am exceptionally attached to each bit of dust that floats in the air. How can I only speak to my knowns and be relaxed..those 200 known strangers have died but they mean something - something to me and Every Thing to some. Sense of belonging to a family, place, institution or country means so much at times that it is terrible to face the realities of life. I hope this never happens again..

Jaipur Blasts in News

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